Tuesday, 6 August 2013

#ChildNotBride Lending my voice

Depression, anxiety, eating disorders, poor self esteem, somatization, insecurity, sleep disorders, trust issues, post traumatic stress disorders, conduct disorder, teenage pregnancy, self inflicted harm...etc, these and a lot more are effects of child sexual abuse.

The physical and emotional pain a child goes through when molested is unimaginable, the fear within to tell anyone especially if it's a family member, the sleepless nights because she is scared someone else might creep up on her...its heartbreaking

The torture she goes through, hot tears rushing down her face as she weeps in pain, a past she never wants to remember

That's how bad it is and worse, no child would gladly accept to feel this way please let's not force them into the unending torture

Child marriage is child sexual abuse, the undeveloped organs in the bodies of the little girls being put under distress is unbearable to imagine...She is a child not a bride

Imagine watching your 13years old daughter being molested by a 40years old man! It's a horrible sight right? It's heart burning. We definitely don't want to see our babies get pregnant for some randy old fool. Oh yes we might say it's the poor people that would give their daughters away, if they had a choice they would not, dey do not have a voice to speak...please let's help them.

We have the gadgets and the resources the help them fight this selfish men who have stooped so low and degraded to this horrible point.

When a child becomes a bride, She is denied;
The right to an education.
The right to be protected from physical and mental violence, injury or abuse, including sexual abuse, rape and sexual exploitation.
The right to the enjoyment of the highest attainable standard of health.
The right to rest and leisure, and to participate freely in cultural life.
The right to not be separated from parents against the child's will.
The right to protection against all forms of exploitation affecting any aspect of the child’s welfare.
The right to eventual employment.

Let's speak for our babies and fight against the passage of the bill.

Join your voice and share this post
Please do not ignore...its a passionate cry of a young child.

Thank you.

Monday, 5 August 2013

We speak different languages

Hey guys,how u doing? Happy new month!!! I pray this month brings you joy and extraordinary blessings in Jesus name :)

Ok so I'm back again with my gist u know...now I'm not saying I am a relationship expert but I have learnt a lot from studying and experience and I want to share this information with you guys.

You see, the male and female languages have the same words but the way they are used give different meanings, their expressions are similar but they have different emotional emphasis.

Expressing feelings VS Expressing information
Men and women seldom mean the same things, even when they use the same words.
For example, when a woman says "I feel like you never listen" she does not expect the word never to be taken seriously. Using the word never is just a way of expressing the frustration she is feeling at the moment, it is not to be taken as factual information.

To fully express our feelings, we (women) assume poetic license to use various superlatives, metaphors and generalizations.

Sadly men mistakenly take these expressions literally because they misunderstand the intended meaning :(

Common complaints that are easily misinterpreted
Women say this                              Men respond like this
- We never go out                       That is not true,we went out last week

- Nothing is working                   Are you saying it's my fault?

- I want more romance                Are you saying I'm not romantic?

Guys do you get the drift?
You see how your responses can lead to arguments?
Unclear and unloving communication is the biggest problem in relationships, though good communication requires participation on both sides.

For a woman, a dramatic language implies a particular request. If a man listening to a woman can recognise the implied request and respond accordingly, she will feel truly heard and loved.

One of the biggest challenge for men is to interpret and support a woman correctly when she is talking about her feelings, while the biggest challenge for women is to interpret and support a man correctly when he isn't talking....silence is mostly easily misinterpreted by women
We need to understand that men and women think and process information differently, women think aloud sharing their process of inner discovery with an interested listener.

Women need to understand that when he is silent he is saying "I don't know what to say yet but I'm thinking about it". In this case, it is easy for a woman to imagine the worst because the only time a woman would be silent is when what she has to say would be hurtful or when she doesn't want to talk to the person anymore.
Women have a lot to learn about men before their relationships can be really fulfilling.
We need to learn that when a man is upset or stressed up he will automatically stop talking and go to his "cave" to work things out.

Both men and women need to stop offering the method of care they would prefer and start to learn the different ways their partners think, feel and react.

A woman should not be judged for needing reassurance, just as a man should not be judged for needing to withdraw.

As a man learns to listen and interpret a woman's feelings correctly, communication becomes easier and as with any art listening requires practice but it's worth it at the end.
So get practising guys!!! I hope I don't sound like I'm pressuring the guys tho?
Oh well its a girly life, we gotta enjoy it :D *wink*

Take care sweeties and don't forget to drop your questions and comments down below.
Thanks for reading...