Monday, 5 August 2013

We speak different languages

Hey guys,how u doing? Happy new month!!! I pray this month brings you joy and extraordinary blessings in Jesus name :)

Ok so I'm back again with my gist u I'm not saying I am a relationship expert but I have learnt a lot from studying and experience and I want to share this information with you guys.

You see, the male and female languages have the same words but the way they are used give different meanings, their expressions are similar but they have different emotional emphasis.

Expressing feelings VS Expressing information
Men and women seldom mean the same things, even when they use the same words.
For example, when a woman says "I feel like you never listen" she does not expect the word never to be taken seriously. Using the word never is just a way of expressing the frustration she is feeling at the moment, it is not to be taken as factual information.

To fully express our feelings, we (women) assume poetic license to use various superlatives, metaphors and generalizations.

Sadly men mistakenly take these expressions literally because they misunderstand the intended meaning :(

Common complaints that are easily misinterpreted
Women say this                              Men respond like this
- We never go out                       That is not true,we went out last week

- Nothing is working                   Are you saying it's my fault?

- I want more romance                Are you saying I'm not romantic?

Guys do you get the drift?
You see how your responses can lead to arguments?
Unclear and unloving communication is the biggest problem in relationships, though good communication requires participation on both sides.

For a woman, a dramatic language implies a particular request. If a man listening to a woman can recognise the implied request and respond accordingly, she will feel truly heard and loved.

One of the biggest challenge for men is to interpret and support a woman correctly when she is talking about her feelings, while the biggest challenge for women is to interpret and support a man correctly when he isn't talking....silence is mostly easily misinterpreted by women
We need to understand that men and women think and process information differently, women think aloud sharing their process of inner discovery with an interested listener.

Women need to understand that when he is silent he is saying "I don't know what to say yet but I'm thinking about it". In this case, it is easy for a woman to imagine the worst because the only time a woman would be silent is when what she has to say would be hurtful or when she doesn't want to talk to the person anymore.
Women have a lot to learn about men before their relationships can be really fulfilling.
We need to learn that when a man is upset or stressed up he will automatically stop talking and go to his "cave" to work things out.

Both men and women need to stop offering the method of care they would prefer and start to learn the different ways their partners think, feel and react.

A woman should not be judged for needing reassurance, just as a man should not be judged for needing to withdraw.

As a man learns to listen and interpret a woman's feelings correctly, communication becomes easier and as with any art listening requires practice but it's worth it at the end.
So get practising guys!!! I hope I don't sound like I'm pressuring the guys tho?
Oh well its a girly life, we gotta enjoy it :D *wink*

Take care sweeties and don't forget to drop your questions and comments down below.
Thanks for reading...