Saturday, 29 June 2013

Women are like waves PART 2

Even when a man is succeeding in supporting a woman, she may become even more upset!
Oops! That wld definitely hurt the young man :( but sincerely its not our fault at all.

Just hang on bro, she'll soon be out of her well and when she's out she becomes her usual loving self again :D but this positive shift is generally misunderstood by men, he wld think that whatever was bothering her is now completely healed or resolved,but this is not the case becos when her wave crashes again similar issues will arise.Without understanding the wave, he finds it hard to validate and nurture her feelings.
When a woman goes into her well her deepest issues tend to surface. These issues may have to do with the relationship,her childhood or maybe her past relationships.what remains to be healed or resolved from her past inevitably will come up.

Here the good news :) as she feels more and more supported at these difficult times, she begins to trust the relationship and is able to journey in and out of her well without conflict in her relationship or struggle in her life.

To support a woman when she is in her well is a special gift that is greatly appreciated.

Bear in mind...
- A man's love and support cannot instantly resolve a woman's issues.
-A woman going into her well is not a man's fault or his failure,being more supportive cannot prevent it from happening but it can help her through these difficult times.
- A woman has within herself the ability to spontaneously rise up after she has hit bottom, a man does not have to fix her. She is not broken but needs his love,patience and understanding.

It is essential that she feel safe to go through this cycle, otherwise she works hard at pretending that everything is always alright and suppresses her negative feelings. She may tend to numb her feelings through addictions like drinking, over eating,over working etc

Truth is when negative feelings are suppressed, positive feelings become suppressed as well and love dies.

Thanks for hanging on thus far...hope this information was helpful.
Please don't forget to share with your friends, they need to know too.
Kindly drop a comment down below before leaving.Thank u and God bless you always.

Wednesday, 26 June 2013

Women are like waves

Hello beautiful pple...we are talking about the women today so sit back,relax and grab your reading glasses if u need one.

A woman is like a wave just as men are like rubber bands :) yep quote me if u like...I can say that over and over again
When she feels loved, her self esteem rises and falls in a wave motion,when she is feeling really good,she will reach a peak but then suddenly her mood crashes down. Fortunately, this crash is temporary ;).
When a woman's wave rises, she feels she has an abundance of love to give,but when it falls, she feels her inner-emptiness and needs to be filled up with love. At this down time, she needs to talk about her problems and be heard and most importantly understood.

A woman's self esteem rises and falls like a wave, when she hits bottom,it is time for emotional house-cleaning.
A woman's ability go give and receive love in relationships is generally a reflection of how she is feeling about herself, she tends to be overwhelmed or more emotionally reactive and more vulnerable and needs more love.
It is important that her partner understands her and what she needs at those times
In relationships, men pull back and then get close, while women rise and fall back on their ability to love themselves and others.

What men think.
A man assumes that her sudden change of mood is based solely on his behavior, when she is happy he takes credit but when she is unhappy he also feels responsible, he may feel extremely frustrated because he doesn't know how to make things better.

When a woman moves into her "well", guys please u need to learn that this is when she needs you the most and it is not a problem to be solved or fixed but an opportunity to support her with unconditional love.

Prescription A.K.A what she needs
The last thing a woman needs when she is on her way down is someone telling her why she shouldn't be down, what she needs is someone to be with her as she goes down, to listen to her while she shares her feelings and to empathize with what she is going through.

Brother, even if you can't understand why a woman feels overwhelmed, you can offer your love, attention and support. God bless you for doing that.

Stay tuned for part 2 in the next post...until den stay blessed.

Friday, 14 June 2013

Men are like RUBBER BANDS

Men are like Rubber bands!!!

When they pull away, they can stretch only so far before they come springing back. A rubber band is the perfect metaphor to understand the male intimacy cycle.This cycle involves getting close, pulling away and then getting close again...Men instinctively feel this urge to pull away, it is not a decision or choice, it just happens and bear in mind that it is neither his fault nor her fault. It is a natural cycle.

When a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer.
Trust me I have experienced dis first hand :).

Women misinterpret a man's pulling away because generally, we pull away for differnet reasons like, when we are hurt or afraid of being hurt, or when our man has done something wrong or disappointed us.

What we Women should know!!!
This pulling away mechanism enriches a relationship cos when your Man comes springing back he come with so much love and care...tho our normal reaction would be to PANIC cos we are not sure why he has decided to pull away, but pls dont panic because that wld  put him under pressure and he is likely to keep pulling away.

A woman will unconsciously sense when a man is pulling away and precisely at those times she will attempt to reestablish their intimate connection and say "Lets talk".

When a man is pulling away is not the time to talk or try to get closer.Let him pull away, after sometime, he wld return. He would act loving and supportive and will act as though nothing has happened...This is the time to talk..this is the Golden time.
 Tho at this time we women generally are scared to talk cos the last time she wanted to talk he pulled away and now confused if he is ready to listen.

Choose Wisdom
Men generally don't realize how their sudden pulling away and later returning affects women.
A wise man grows to understand his own cycle and reassures his lady when he pulls away that he wld be back.
A wise woman learns not to demand that a man talks but asks that he truly listens to her. She trusts that he will gradually open up more and listen to her.
A wise woman does not give up, she patiently and lovingly persists with a knowing that few women have.

Hang on lady, you have not lost him yet...Insecurity kills relationships.
Choose knowledge and Wisdom.